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What are we crashing out about today besties?

i tried to stay calm this week. i really did. but then the men on linkedin said “absolutely not.”

so here we are.

this week’s crash out report:

oh good. we’re bringing back the "who to follow" lists on linkedin. It's giving 2008 myspace top 8. Top 8s and lists have been around for as long as the internet has existed, so how is it possible in the year of 2026, we still have to remind them that Black women exist?

At what point do we stop pretending this is accidental?

if you are still creating lists in 2026 and not including: Black women queer women older women disabled women trans women Muslim women women who don’t fit your neat little box

your list isn’t credible. you just told on yourself, because there has never been a lack of voices, views or women on this damned app.

If I i wanted to scroll a list of the same five archetypes of men, i’d go look at a VC portfolio.

However, this made me begin to think, how many badass Black women get missed on these lists simply because dominant identities intentionally leave us out of the room?

well, i'm a problem solver at best and petty at worse, so the next time someone features a pale boring list, you can send them here

Shout out to some of my favorite creators like Leah Vernon , Vanessa Smithers Alison Taylor , Erika Chestnut , Abi Adamson “The Culture Ajagun” 🌼 , Elizabeth Leiba , Jackye Clayton ♕ Alli Myatt and so many more.

In under 24 hours, over 100 Black women were sent my way.

Today is a great day to diversify your following.

Speaking of Alison Taylor, did you get to see us LAUNCH the Crash Out With Me Live show? If you did, you missed a GOOD old time but do not worry, it is available on ALL of your favorite podcast streaming platforms.

n this episode of Crash Out With Me, we’re talking weddings, expat life, and the why quitting caffeine might save you. From navigating the chaos of the wedding industrial complex to dealing with European bureaucracy and figuring out what life actually looks like outside the U.S., this one is part life update, part cultural observation, and part unhinged luteal phase crash out.

Because sometimes the biggest life transitions, getting married, moving countries, changing routines, don’t come with a neat plan. They come with a little chaos, a lot of honesty, and the occasional crash out along the way.

I hope you'll follow along with Crash Out With Me, and make sure to follow Alison Taylor.

For those of you who don't know, I spent the last year in a job search and wondering if I should be less me, some people said I should tone it down, be less political, be less loud, be less.

and i did and it turns out I do not like being less me. i am not here to be palatable. i am not here to be digestible. i am not here to make sure everyone feels comfy while i shrink myself.

i am here to say the thing people are thinking and are too scared to post.

I am political. I am Black AF. I am queer AF. I am a raging feminist, and my feminism always includes trans women.

I am loudly, aggressively, fiercely pro-human rights, and anti whatever this administration is.

respectfully. but also, not really, if that bothers you, that's okay, I'm not for everybody.

Because as it turns out, I no longer have a dream job, I have a dream life. I have spent a lot of time over the last year auditing and reauditing what that means to me.

What if I stopped living my life in a way that made sense to everyone else?

What if instead of doing what was "impressive", or what was makes others give me the nod of approval, what if I just did what I wanted? In that journey, I have realized, as much as I thought I wanted to climb a corporate ladder, I actually have no desire to do that, at all, ever again.

I don't want to build my life around performance, I want to build it around experiences. I don't want my legacy to be productivity, I want it to be impact, love and "holy shit, she lived the heck out of her life". I don't want to continue to pretend that being disconnected from my own world for 8+ hours a day is the way we were meant to exist.

Lately, I have felt trapped, in my body, in the US, in corporate systems that take and take and take until you're just a shell of who you need to be.

When I zoom out and think about how vast this world is, how much beauty there is to experience, how much life there is to actually live (and not just document on insta),i cannot ignore the absurdity of what I'm doing instead.

Spending so much of my time writing emails, eye rolling at microagressions, crying between meetings or retying a slack 12 times to make sure I sound "nice enough" does not spark joy. It sparks fomo, it sparks sadness, it sparks the gnawing desire to start over and build a life designed for living.

This isn't what life is supposed to be about. If you want to make work the center of universe and life, that's your choice, but I refuse to do it anymore. I refuse to let this be it.

I refuse to let this be the pinnacle of being alive, being able to brag about the titles, the power or the responsibility.

I know some people genuinely want work to be the center of their world, and though i refuse to relate, I am heavy on the "do you boo". i want slowness. I want peace. I want depth I want space. I

want more. I want a life that feels like I actually designed it for me, and not for a shitty resume template. We are sold a very narrow version of success, and even though it looks shiny from the outside, the inside is suffocating.

I am no longer willing to chase a dream job at the expense of my health, a beautiful life, or the people who matter to me.

I want the dream life, and maybe the dream life doesn't come with all of the shiny things, but it comes with experiences that fill your cup rather than drain it, people who love you and places that feel like home.

Please do not slide into my DMs to hit on me.

thanks. no seriously. this is not hinge. this is not tinder. this is not “let me leverage professional proximity to shoot my shot.” it’s weird. it’s uncomfortable. and it’s exhausting.

AND you don't know me.

Parasocial relatonships are weird as heck, Hebba Youssef and I just talked about this!

You’ve watched my content. you’ve read my posts. you feel like you know me.

but you feel like you know me and it’s one-sided.

you feel close to me without ever having had a real conversation with me, content and connection visibility and access being seen and being available

and i need us to be so clear:

just because you have access to my content does not mean you have access to me.

just because i share parts of my life does not mean i am inviting you into it.

just because you feel like you know me does not mean i know you.

that’s the difference and when that line gets crossed, it stops being flattering and starts being uncomfortable.

fast.

This is not a “why not shoot my shot" type of crash out

Meet Victoria, in a world that constantly asks us to hustle, push, and perform, she is giving us permission to do something radically different.

She’s inviting people to rest and not the performative kind.

At the core of her work is a simple but powerful truth: rest is resistance. Not just against burnout, but against the systems that have convinced us we have to earn our softness. That we have to push through, prove ourselves, and keep going at the expense of our own bodies and well-being. Victoria’s work gently challenges that narrative and offers something else entirely.

That’s what she’s created with Unhurried, a 4-day, 3-night retreat designed to help you step out of urgency culture and into softness, spaciousness, and deep replenishment. Through slow, intentional yoga, restorative movement, guided time in nature, and creative practices meant to soothe rather than stimulate, the experience is built around helping you reconnect with yourself in a way that feels grounding and sustainable.

This isn’t about becoming a new person. It’s about returning to yourself. About learning how to make rest a regenerative part of your life, not something you have to earn or squeeze in when you’re already depleted. Because when you restore your energy, it doesn’t just impact you, it shapes how you show up for your community, your relationships, and your future.

You don’t leave transformed into someone else. You leave calmer, clearer, more grounded, and more connected to your own rhythm. More you.

And in a world that benefits from you being exhausted, that kind of softness is powerful.

Learn more: http://www.wellwellwellcollective.com/unhurried

This week on Crash Out With Me, I’m crashing out with Derek Larsen , a Talent Acquisition leader who has spent more than 15 years inside the machinery of hiring, leadership, and organizational culture. After nearly a decade as a Talent Acquisition Manager,

Derek has seen how companies evaluate talent, scale teams, and measure success, but he’s also seen the quieter side of work: the pressure, insecurity, and constant performance that shape how professionals see themselves.I

n this conversation, we get into the psychological side of work, the mental weight of always being evaluated, and why so many high-performing professionals struggle silently with expectations and identity. It’s an honest discussion about ambition, self-worth, and what happens when the systems we build to measure success start defining how we see ourselves.

RSVP here.

If you’re in the middle of a corporate existential crisis… welcome.

If you want help figuring out what comes next, that’s literally what I do.

Crash Out With Me Is for people who are ready to rethink their relationship with work and build something that actually fits their life

COME WORK WITH ME.

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